April 19, 2017
I'm almost 7 weeks postop and the irony is that my original surgery date was TODAY. God am I glad I'm on this side of it !
I'm driving now --- YES! Freedom! It's amazing how much we take for granted .... though it's still a little challenging because you don't realize how much we utilize the core while driving.
Eating is progressing, albeit still slowly. Introduced toast and rice last week. Carbs glorious carbs! I haven't eaten a real carb in over two years! I didn't realize how much I missed them! That said, animal proteins (chicken and turkey) still a challenge. 😏. Might try white fish next week. Little lighter.
I just have to keep remembering that it took my whole life for things to get as bad as they were.... it'll be a "...long road [healing since my] insides are bruised pretty badly... takes a while to heal." ---and the healing is not just physical.
I've had a few "moments" since my last update. Moments that have frightened me. Moments vaguely reminiscent of preoperative experiences. Moments that make me pause and listen.... Though frightening, the pause is a gift; reminding me to listen to my body. Listening isn't bad. Listening is the first step to reuniting my mind and spirit with my [new] body.
It's surprising how elusive the concept of trust really can be... in my case past experience hasn't exactly reinforced my placing my trust in the medical profession or in my own physical capabilities. Just as I did in February when it was "....time to close my eyes and leap..." so too is it now time to do the same. This leap, though, seems more of a risk, like there's somehow more riding on it; like it carries all the years of faith and trust that went wrong with it. But alas, I am #littlebutfierce. I am #sunshinemixedwithalittlehurricane. I am nothing if not tenacious.
I said in February to all those who tried to ground me - the years of medical professionals telling me I couldn't be fixed - my body - my message was that it was high time I started defying gravity; that everyone deserved a chance to fly. It was my preop mantra. Now I need to remind myself that HAVING the surgery was only getting on the broom.... this part of the process is where the real flying starts.
So if you hear me waver, remind me -- "...no one in all of Oz, no wizard that there is or was is ever gonna bring me down..."
Patience will have to prevail. Like my cover photo says: healing IS an art. It takes patience, practice, love (and TIME!). Positive thinking. Forward motion. Baby steps. Doesn't matter how slowly I get there. All that matters is that I reach my goal.
#defyinggravity 😊
