Another Month, Another Milestone
Generally speaking I am (painfully at times) aware of dates and time passed since this or that. But this time - this month - my 8 month postop anniversary came and went without my even noticing. (It was 10/23 btw) Some may say see that as a negative. But this #littlebutfiercewellness mama sees it as a gift! It is a gift that I was able to finally go through my life without counting days and minutes or noticing the time and date relative to my surgery. I was just living. I was just being me.
This discovery is truly something to celebrate because it means that I am starting to move forward from the trauma. I am starting to define myself (in small ways) in terms unrelated to my medical past. I am just living. I am just being me.
Eight months - WOW! I would venture to say that if I met someone new, they would not even know I had all this drama trailing behind me. I would guess that for most, whether people knew me previously or just meet me, I present by all appearances like an average woman - working, mothering, wifing (is that a word?) - just like every other woman out there. I always tried to just keep going, to persevere and stay positive, but this is different. Oh! This is starting to live a life that isn't wrought with constant email check-ins with specialists and surgeons; a life free from daily log entries regarding caloric intake and episodic occurrences; a life that is liberated from packing my pill case and watching the clock for medications that were every four hours. This is a life that is a version of, dare I say it, NORMAL.
I still have limitations, but given my missing of the eight month postop day, I am more ABLE than I am UNable. That is something to cause a pause. That is something to truly notice and appreciate. I had been so used to living with an illness that it became my identity; that part was unavoidable. The nature of my medical challenges were all consuming. But here I stand, eight months later NOT being all consumed by the illness. I am just living. I am just being me.
I guess the lesson of this post is to stop and notice when it has become comfortable to not need to stop and notice what ails you every second of every day; to breathe in and out of a vessel that YOU are nurturing in whatever ways feel right to you; to focus on just living...on just being.
Stay fierce, friends. Thanks for reading.
As always, check out my daily musings on my Facebook page Little But Fierce Wellness or on Instagram at @littlebutfiercewellness. Feel free to comment there or email me at littlebutifercewellness@gmail.com
